Today I have my Port-a-Cath implanted. Truth be known? I'm nervous. I'm always nervous when I'm facing some sort of surgery. Four thoughts rotate thru my head during times like this, all equally important. What about my dogs? What about my kids? What about my sister? What about my friends? Odd how I don't fear death itself. I worry about the others. My kids would grieve, my sister would grieve and my dearly beloved friends would grieve. My heart breaks when I think of that, I can't bear the thought of the tears that would flow, of the hole that would be left in hearts. I'm not so vain as to think I'm oh so wonderful but I do hope that I have brought joy to the people I love.
I so love my kids, Barbara, teacher and the proud foster Mom of Devon and M'Nya. Jonathan, betrothed to Jennifer, mother of wonderful Noah, and a great lover of animals. Summer, my youngest, betrothed to John and keeper of the gentlest heart, a word smith who has yet to realize her dreams.
My beloved friends, Susan, mom of Maggie the Plott Hound, exquisite photographer. Kim, mom of Sophie the Collie, teacher and leader. Cathleen, mom of Venus the Hun, grad student of chemistry at NorthWestern, uber smart. Jim, dad of Henry the Pick Pocket American Fox Hound, patience personified and keeper of all knowledge. Mark, dad of Darwin the Beagle, nutty proffesor at NorthWestern. Don, dad of Max the St. Bernard, retired Proff, great lover and supporter of NorthWestern sports. And Ron, dad of Cooper the black lab mix, park peace keeper, strong of character and always, always kind and gentle.
My dogs. Beauford and Winslow. Rescue hounds both, they rescued me from a life of emptiness and loneliness. The Prince and The Pauper, how I love them beyond all reason. They give me hope. They give me love. They led me to my friends. They give me a reason to live.
Surgery is at 3. I may have to spend the night. Susan is taking me to the hospital, staying to bring me home. If I must stay the night Cathleen will spend the night with the dogs. There is grad student fare in the freezer, 4 cheese pizza, blue berry Pop Tarts in the cupboard and Diet Pepsi in the fridge.
To my friends, to my kids, to my sister, to my dogs...... I love you all, with all my heart.
J
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